Psalm 119:9-16 (New Living Translation)

Focus: verses 15-16  

 “I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways. I will delight in your principles and not forget your word.”  We should all add this to our list of priorities everyday. 

Here is a challenge. Take a minute and think about your life. Identify one area or situation that you desire improvement, growth, change for the better.  Before you pick up a self-help book, go and find scriptures on this area.  Don’t know where to look – google “bible scriptures on…” ; look in the back or front of your bible for a topical concordance (directory that gives scriptures based on topics); go to www.biblegateway.com and put the topic in the topical index.; ask your Pastor or other spiritual leaders.   

Study these scriptures to gain better understanding.  Reflect and meditate on them.  Read them in the morning, at lunch and at night before you go to bed.  Spend a little time thinking about them to yourself.  You may even want to write them on an index card or put them in your notes section on your phone so you can look at them throughout the day. Write them on a piece of paper and put them up somewhere visible in your house, the bathroom or the kitchen, perhaps.  Go all in with this word that you have found.  Honor it.  Treasure it.  Do your best to obey and trust it – even if you don’t fully understand it.

Try this for at least 21 days.  At the end of the 21 days, compare where you are to where you were, if the situation has not changed, I guarantee that you did!   

Be REFRESHED!

For the next 22 days, I will be reading 8 verses of Psalm 119 a day. Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible.  Its 176 verses are divided into 22 stanzas of eight.  It is an excellent way to begin reading the Bible everyday. 

Psalm 119:1-8 – The Message Bible

 Which Way Do I Go?  

The Psalm writer encourages us to stay on the course that God has already shown us, “you’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him.”  This is the challenge, though.   Many of us are not clear on what direction God is leading us.  

One answer is to get into God’s Word – the Bible.  God’s word will show us God’s way and will.  If we read God’s word and ask for understanding in our reading, we will, in time, learn God better and gain a clearer understanding of what to do in various areas of our lives. When we don’t know which way to go, we should as the verse above states, do our best to find God. God rewards our efforts in trying to find God’s will by giving us the direction we seek.

Once we are aware of God’s direction (God’s will) then we have to take the next step and follow through on the direction given.   This presents another challenge. What if God’s direction is not the way I wanted to go or appears to be a harder way to go? What do I do? First of all, God’s direction is not always harder.  We can make it harder because it presents a new way of thinking or being.  However, when God’s way is not the way we want or requires more of us than we think we have, remember, God will not lead us in a direction that God will not keep us.  It may not be a comfortable direction.  It may not be an easy direction. But, God does promise to be with us and God has the power to strengthen us to stay the course!  

Psalm 119:7-8 says, “When I learn your righteous laws, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your principles; please don’t give up on me!” 

Our prayer:

“God, help me to learn your way of being and doing for my life and when I learn it I will thank you by living what I have learned.  Help me to follow your Word, but, if I don’t get it exactly right, please don’t walk away from me, please don’t give up on me.  Keep working with me until I get it right. My heart is open to you.” Amen.

Okay, ladies, we all know that when we really want to know where we stand with our “man”- It is all in what he does!  A brotha’ can say, “I love you,” but does his consistent actions show that he loves you? 

I have heard it said that one way to keep a man is by the words that we say out of our mouths.  What is important to a man (so I have been told by men) once he gets pass the “looks”, is how a woman talks to him.  But, on the flip side, what is important to a woman is what a man actually does. 

How many of us have been fooled or got caught up for a minute in words alone? After a while, we are looking at ourselves and asking the question – “is he for real?”  Bottom line, at the end of the day, if you want to know how a brotha’ really feels about you – watch what he does, consistently.  A man can say anything out of his mouth, but a wise woman will  watch the actions to ensure they are lining up with his words.

Not sure where you stand with your man – watch what he does!!! 

Click the link for My YouTube Channel and check out Chrisette Michele’s video “What You Do.”

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that there are times I feel that I have made more mistakes as a mom than I have had successes. Now, that is just me talking – I am often more hard on myself than I need to be. If you were to ask my family and my friends they would all probably say that I am a terrific mom.  If you were to ask my daughter, she would probably say, “she’s pretty cool.”  However,  it is how we view ourselves that tends to dominate our thought patterns.  You know those conversations we have in our head. Should I have said this…? Maybe, I should have done that…?

When I was a younger mother, I consistently felt overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and went in and out of feeling that I had no clue what I was doing. I read all the books that I could get my hands on. But, you and I both know that nothing substitutes for real, hands-on, experience. At that point, in the midst of it, book knowledge went out the door and I did the best I could with what I had within me at the time. Now, hopefully, that will not have my daughter laying out at somebody’s altar during a Women’s Ministry service crying out, “Mama!!”  or sharing with friends, ”my mother never understood me.” 

All that being said, here is my disclaimer, right now. Let the record state – I am not a perfect mother. I may miss it sometimes, but I keep trying. I often say to my daughter, “cut me some slack, I’m doing the best that I can!  Now, is that carte blanche to act carelessly with my “mommie responsiblities” – no, way. Does that mean that I don’t position myself to learn and grow as a mom, of course not.  However, even with all of that, I confess that I may not always get it right.

I am learning to take it easy on myself. To go with the flow. To release myself from undue pressure and stress. To ride out the times that I wonder, “whose child is this!”  To enjoy the moments that I have with my daughter and the various seasons we may experience realizing that these are times that I will never get back.  One day she will be graduating from high school and going to college.  One day she may be standing at the altar saying, “I do” and starting her family.

 Hopefully, when it is all said and done, when I mix everything together, my daughter and I will come out stronger, closer, and appreciating each other more.

Love, Peace and Blessings!

Good Morning! 

I want to thank everyone who shared their comments and responses to “Mothers Raising Daughters”.  I have received some very encouraging and positive thoughts and for this I am extremely grateful.  I am considering continuing on this topic, but I would like to know what you think.

Is this a subject that you think should continue to be discussed and if so, in what way? How would this be helpful for you? What questions, thoughts, etc.  do you have around this critical aspect of our lives as woman and as mothers? As a mother raising a daughter, what are your experiences, joys, triumphs, disappointments, etc.?

This discussion will only be as rich, powerful and helpful as your thoughts, ideas and participation!

Send me your ideas and thoughts and we will see where we can go from here!

Again, thank you for reaching out. 

Love, Peace and Blessings!

 Admit it!  Confess it!  Accept it!  Raising a daughter is not for the faint at heart.  Help us God!   But the truth of the matter is – our daughters really need us.  They need us in many ways that they don’t even realize right now and we need them too!  I remind myself of this when things get a little “woo-woo” with my daughter and my “mommy strength” begins to wane.

No matter how much our daughters may drive us crazy (Jesus, keep me near the cross), no matter how much they may test and challenge, no matter how often they say, “Mom, really – really, Mom – is that really necessarry – does it really take all that”, no matter how many times we wonder if they “get it”, no matter how many times we may want to scream and shout, no matter how many times they pull us close and then push us away, no matter how often we feel like we don’t understand them, or agree with them, or heck, even like them, - the bottom line is that our daughters are relying on us to be present with them.

It is our God-given responsibility to be there – not just looking from afar, but up close and personal.  We have to do what it takes to walk the journey of growing up with them. We can not give up.  Our daughters want us there no matter how much they say that they don’t.  Don’t listen to the hype.  She may say get out of my face one minute (okay, she may not say it directly to you – but she sure may be thinking it) and then turn around and scream your name for help the next.  It comes with the “mommy” territory!

While there are various ways that we can be present for our daughters, I have found that one of the best is to be present for ourselves – to be in tune with ourselves and to take care of ourselves! 

There is a scripture in the Song of Solomon, located in the Old Testament of the Bible, where a woman expresses the following words,

      “Do not look upon me, because I am dark,
      Because the sun has tanned me.
      My mother’s sons were angry with me;
      They made me the keeper of the vineyards,
      But my own vineyard I have not kept.”  – Song of Solomon 1:6

It is time for us to keep our vineyard. Find a support network.  Join a gym.  Pick-up a video.  Plan sometime for yourself.  Read a book.  Go to the library.  Go for a walk downtown.  Take yourself to lunch.  Commit to do something this week that will help you begin to care for yourself.  We can’t be there for our daughters if we are not there for ourselves.

Love, Peace and Blessings!

Last week,  I had a great opportunity to fellowship with Young Adult Women at a local church in my area.  There was a jazz band, food, games and great dialogue.  Sistah’s were there looking cute and having fun!

My assignment was to talk about Steve Harvey’s new book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” from God’s perspective.  More specifically, my task was to address the issue of love, sex, dating and relationships.  Here are a few  of  my thoughts.

Steve Harvey spoke consistently about women having standards. In fact, he dedicated a chapter to the subject, “Men Like Standards, Get Some.”  My question to the women, though, was how can we set a standard for a relationship with a man when we have not set a standard for ourselves. Here is the truth, I attract what I am…what I put out is what I get back.  If I have no standards in my life for myself, I more than likely will attract men who have no standards for themselves and definitely no standards for their relationships.

Here are my top three.

Standard #1 I will always put my relationship with God first – this is my foundation for who I am, where I gain strength and confidence and everything I do flows from this love relationship.

Standard #2 I will love myself at all costs – I will stay committed to myself, value myself and respect myself at all costs even if that means breaking away from a relationship.

Standard #3 I will live my life - I will “get a life” and live it. I will have fun. I will identify what I enjoy and do it!  I will identify some short and long-term goals, make a plan and get it movin’!

These are my top three.  What are yours?  Set a standard today!  Except nothing less!